Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Valentine Jokes

One of my intentional girlfriends sent me an email today with a huge list of Valentine Jokes attached (I love her mother's heart and her creative ideas and her willingness to share with me!) She said these are the cornier than corny jokes she found by perusing Pinterest. She just copied and pasted from several pins so she can take no credit for the cheeziness. 


My girlfriend is going to cut the list into individual jokes and then over dinner she and her family will take turns pulling them out of a brown bag. Her thought is love and laughter go together.

I thought I'd share the list with ya'll so you could add some Valentine goofiness to your dinner table or your kid's lunchboxes tomorrow.




What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
I'm nuts about you!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you!

What did the stamp say to the envelope?
I'm stuck on you.

What do elephants say to one another on Valentine's Day?
I love you a ton.


What did one piece of string say to the other?
Be my Valen-twine!

What did one pickle say to the other?
You mean a great dill to me.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur, who?
Arthur any chocolates left for me?

What did the owl say to his sweetheart?
Owl be yours!

What did the calculator say to the other calculator on Valentine's Day?
Let me count the ways I love you.

What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Igloo.
Igloo, who?
Igloo my fingers together when I make Valentine's cards.

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day?
I love ewe!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hogs and Kisses

What did one monster say to another?
Be my Valen-slime!

What did the paperclip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.

What did the boy octopus say to his sweetheart?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.


Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Jamaica.
Jamaica, who?
Jamaica a Valentine for me yet?

What is it called when fish fall in love?
Guppy-love

What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine's Day?
You're purr-fect.

What do you call 2 birds in love?
Tweethearts!



What did one light bulb say to the other?
I love you a whole watt! (Rob thought the answer should be: You turn me on!)

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they are very scent-imental.

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche! (My teenage boy said a French Kiss. . agh!!)

Happy Valentine's Day!  And make sure you come back tomorrow. I will share more Valentine goodness (this time not cheezy) you can share around the dinner table.

1 comment:

  1. Those are HILARIOUS! I especially like the "alternative" versions that your menfolk came up with. :-)

    ReplyDelete

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