Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Valentine Jokes

I shared this post last year, but thought I'd repost it this week since this is such an easy way to make dinner time special. Surprise your kids tonight. Cut the below list into individual jokes and then over dinner take turns pulling them out of a brown bag. Love and laughter go together.

Or you could cut the below list into individual jokes and tuck them into your kids' lunchboxes (that is if we have school the rest of the week. Please no more snow days).

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
I'm nuts about you!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Olive, who?
Olive you!

What did the stamp say to the envelope?
I'm stuck on you.

What do elephants say to one another on Valentine's Day?
I love you a ton.

What did one piece of string say to the other?
Be my Valen-twine!

What did one pickle say to the other?
You mean a great dill to me.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Arthur, who?
Arthur any chocolates left for me?

What did the owl say to his sweetheart?
Owl be yours!

What did the calculator say to the other calculator on Valentine's Day?
Let me count the ways I love you.

What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Igloo, who?
Igloo my fingers together when I make Valentine's cards.

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day?
I love ewe!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hogs and Kisses

What did one monster say to another?
Be my Valen-slime!

What did the paperclip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.

What did the boy octopus say to his sweetheart?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Jamaica, who?
Jamaica a Valentine for me yet?

What is it called when fish fall in love?

What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine's Day?
You're purr-fect.

What do you call 2 birds in love?

What did one light bulb say to the other?
I love you a whole watt! (Rob thought the answer should be: You turn me on!)

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they are very scent-imental.

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche! (My teenage boy said a French Kiss. . agh!!)

Happy Valentine's Day!  Come back tomorrow when I will share more Valentine goodness (this time not cheezy) you can share around the dinner table.


  1. Thanks for sharing this again this year. I read it last year and forgot to share them. My grandchildren were here for supper tonight, we put them in a bag and read, like you suggested. It made the night so happy! You are a great Mom! Kathy A.

  2. These are so fun!


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